What doesn't kill me makes me stronger

             - Alright guys, how long on that avocado sandwich? - I asked the kitchen crew after looking at my watch that showed 9 minutes of customers' waiting time
             - Mommy, who are you to ask or demand anything outta here? We're doing what we can, -The kitchen manager laughed at me, getting a pita from the package.

             I've been working in the place for 4 days now. And I didn't see anything but horrible attitude both from crew and customer sides.
             The place presented itself as a superhealthy place. What was it in real? Not-ever-washed rags, greasy plates you could barely hold in your hands, decaf coffee instead of real coffee (whenever there were decaf leftovers, they were poured into regular coffee. The only comment I got on this was "they won't understand or die so who cares"). Whenever I put attempts into changing the situation all I got were laughs and smirks from colleagues.
             The worst part about it started whenever I was still considered a trainee but somehow replaced the real servers. As all crew was too busy sitting in front of all managers putting new pictures on Instagram and updating their statuses on Twitter, I literally got the pressure of the entire place all on me. People got very annoyed and kept shouting things like that: 'why I've been sitting here and waiting for somebody to come up here for 5 minutes?'

Ok, it's not the place I've worked at. But it was close to that!

             So I talked to people, trying to calm them down and encouraged my co-workers to start doing what  all of us were supposed to do.

             - Missy, I've been here for 28 years now. I've seen three generations of management in this place. Are you really trying to tell me when to get to the table?
             - But they've been there for 8 minutes already! - almost crying, I insisted. I couldn't
understand how very simple things that are supposed to be part of common sense were so had to be understood here.
             - I'm BUSY now! - she almost shouted at me sitting at empty table and eating some frozen yogurt with strawberries.
             I couldn't let this go, so I just started serving the table. Two young girls were very friendly with me. They had a few modifications and requests I've given to the kitchen, but everything was served in time perfectly.
             'Thank you so much! Everything was just amazing!' - they said leaving the table.
             Just in a few minutes, the manager called me to the front. The young ladies give me compliments in front of the manager.
             - Excuse me, ma'am but she wasn't your waitress. She's just a trainee, - the manager said.
             - We know, and she did a great job, - the young lady smiled and gave me 15$ tip right in my hands.  I smiled and thanked her.

             As soon as the girls left, the manager came up to me and publicly took the money out of my hands passing it to the other waitress.
             - But she was sitting there the entire time on her phone, - I couldn't believe how unfair the whole situation turned out especially considering the fact that the manager saw everything happening.
            The waitress started coming to every other employer and telling them how much of ungrateful trainee I am. And I was just looking at all of this and started asking myself - what am I doing in this place? At that moment I realized that I probably value more that this. Even though I don't have place to go now, I know I deserve better. I just knew that this was definitely the bottom, so I took my cap and apron off, got my handbag and went to the exi
t of the cafe.
            The manager obviously asked for some kind of explanation. Well... as we all do something for the first time in our lives, I totally told everything I though about management and working conditions right in his face. I have always been a very calm person my entire life, so I didn't expect it from myself even. The only thing the manger told me was "We know. We suck."
             Walking away I saw that waitress that got the tip who, smiling at me, said: "It's New York, sweetie, and not Oklahoma or even Russia. You definitely won't survive here with such an attitude."
             I left the cafe and started walking towards subway station.
             And then it started raining. At first I got very sad, but then I thought: 'Doesn't this how it happens in the movies?'
             Running down the street I saw Starbucks. Confession time. Sometimes I went to Starbucks to use their wi-fi. But I promise I bought their staff sometimes. I did!
            So I was sitting right next to the window and watching the view I've dreamed about for the past couple of months. Yellow taxis kept crossing the street, businessmen throwing away the packs from their sandwich-lunches, a few fashionistas walking with their little chihuahuas... And here's me - miserable, sad, poor, alone. Was moving to New York City really a right thing for me to do? Maybe my friends were right, and should have stayed there.
            Being pretty tough in my nature, I was ready to cry. But then I saw a family with two little kids.
            The younger boy made the face to the other one and did some kind of a funny dance behind his father's back. The other boy saw that and started laughing and then he saw me in the window. He realized that I've seen the whole seen and told his older brother. The other boy looked at me, but, seeing my unconscious smile, he just started cracking up.
             These two little boys were so happy and amused with this little and, from the first sight, unimportant situation! They were laughing and kept smiling at me. It was still raining, but they just kept catching the drops from the sky and dance in the rain. They were so happy! And I couldn't help smiling while looking at them.
            It made me ask myself: why do I let all of this unimportant things make unhappy? Life goes on! I'm in the city of my dreams! I'm where I'm supposed to be.
            With a wide smile on my face I left Starbucks and went home.
             

It’s time to press “Play”

My conversation with my adviser after she got the withdrawal form wasn't long at all. I really respected and loved her; she showed me the world of communication and showed me my place in it. She worked for us only; she wanted us to be great professionals in what we do.

- Linda, you’re really fast in your decisions. You need to think about this opportunity more, put all of the advantages and disadvantages on a scale…

- I know it’s only May and school starts in September. I understand I have money to pay rent only. I realize that I don’t know anybody there. But I also know that’s what I want to do, that’s where I want to be, and exactly when I want to leave.

- Do what your heart tells you to do, but please remember that you can always come back.

I loved and respected her more than most of the people I met in my life. But even she couldn't stop, because nothing could stop me.

I found some place online to stay at for the price I was able to pay. It was great to understand that I’m moving to New York, Manhattan.

Packing my staff I realized I’m a shopaholic, and I need to stop… Yeah, the United States changed me a lot by involving me pretty intensively in the pure consumer society. I mean, I never really refused to do that, but 4 pairs of jeans kind of surprised and scared me a little bit.

As my flight was at 6.15 AM my friends and I decided not to go bed. We've been talking for hours discussing our plans for the future, dreams and travelling ideas. It was great… At that moment I realized that probably it’s not that safe to live in Oklahoma where tornadoes are not that big of a deal, the landscape is pretty constant and food is all pretty much fried (dear reader, I’m giving you full rights to blame me for not liking fried food). But honestly, traveling around the world and specifically in the United States, I found out that Oklahomans are probably the greatest, the nicest, the kindest people you probably ever going to meet in the entire world.

They never refused to help me but refused to take money for gas, they listened to me if I needed to be listened. Moving up north I knew that communication between people is going to be in a very different way. However, I was ready to pay this price.

Standing in the airport customs’ lane, my friends stood next to me, and id didn't feel like I was leaving. I couldn't and I’m pretty sure my friends weren't able to understand that this is THE MOMENT.

I hugged them and smiled. “Bye guys! I love you so much. Thank you for everything!”

‘Cookies or pretzels, ma’am?’

‘Umm... cookies and orange juice please’ – I mumbled waking up.

I couldn't get back to sleep on this flight again because the only thing that was filling my mind was New York which was now just 2 hours and 45 minutes away of flying.

Finally after reading some random magazines, looking at duty-free catalog  listening to on-air radio and watching kind of a random movie about some old people in elderly house with tons of drama there, I heard the flight assistant announcing that we’re close to destination and it’s time to buckle up.

‘Don’t forget to turn off your electric devices,’ – the voice repeated a few times.

But no, I wasn't going to do that as I was about to fulfill one of my mini-dreams and make a check point in my buckle list. I opened my music gallery and found the folder “Favorite.”

I could both feel and see the plane getting lower every minute. It was the perfect moment and pressed “Play.”

Looking for the first time at the New York City from the bird’s point of view and hearing the first chords of Frank Sinatra’s unofficial hymn of the city, I could see us passing above Central park, Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty and other iconic details of the city.

If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere.

It’s up to you, New York, New York

Living this moment I was realizing that I will always remember it as it is my official start of brand new life.