The Offer You Can't Deny

              Whenever I got home I called my mom. I'm just very happy that I have this kind of relationship and communication with my mom. She's more than just a parent to me, she's my friend who I trust 100%.
              - Hi, - somehow my voice wasn't that stable anymore. I'm sorry, I think I kind of suck. I thought I could do anything, and it's been just week, and I feel like I failed, I'm afraid that I'll give up... I mean, I promise, I'll find a way. We've always found one. What? Mom! I know.... Okay.... Thanks.
              Through our conversation. the person, who I'm grateful for who I am now, gave me probably the greatest advice I could get at this point. She told me to stop thinking about money, which she let me to borrow from her, and to understand that this kind of mood does not suit the city or me. 'Everything you get, everybody you meet is your own reflection, so if you're sad, concentrated on money and hopeless, you probably won't find things you should find.'
              Even though, usually I'm the person who makes most of the decisions in my life pretty independently, this time my mom, which happened in my kindergarten for the last time I think, told me what to do. 'Use this week exploring the city, finding new awesome places, meeting interesting and friendl
y people and just enjoying your time. Oh, and get a new pair of jeans!'
              Do I need to say that I was totally ok with such an order?
              The next day I got to the ATM and got some money which honestly already made me happy (that makes me sound like a total dependent on materialistic world). The first thing to get in NYC for some touristic exploring? 1-week Unlimited Metro Card!
              The night before I created the top list of places I wanted to visit in NYC.
              Central Park was #1 in this list.
              So wearing typical Central Park uniform - tank top, shorts and headphones, I went on my real New York City run. Running on the path and observing all the gorgeous views of the nature including blooming flowers, shadowy trees and singing birds, I could not believe I'm in the heart of Manhattan until I looked up and saw the tops of skyscrapers.
              The sun was warming up not only the city, but all of us - joggers, bikers, skaters. It was getting hotter and hotter every minute, so I decided that such a great morning start for my NYC experience should be continued with a cup of coffee and a book. Maybe for you, my dear reader, it doesn't mean anything special, but for me this was a moment of true happiness which later became my normal mood in the city of dreams. Sitting on the grass in the tree's shadow with a great book by my favorite author in my hands with a cup of amazing strong dark roast, I though to myself: 'what else is happiness, if not this?'

                As I was pretty close to Strawberry Fields, I definitely went there to see the place I've listened the song about hundreds of times. Just a few meters from it, I saw the peace sign with flowers covering it and a few pictures of John Lennon in the center. I couldn't believe that I actually have this opportunity , this honor to be here. Right around the corner I saw the building where John Lennon was killed. Being the Beatles fan since I was 12 these places were some kind of sacred territory where I was allowed to go which was very important and valuable to me.
              Just following random paths and enjoying the weather I saw a statue. 'I definitely saw it before,' - I thought. And in a few seconds realizing what it is, I actually said out loud, which I have to admit was very unexpected and out of nowhere to other people: "Balto!" It was one of my favorite movies when I was little, and here it is, the monument I've seen in movies so many times. It felt like I was inside the movie! I was about 4 or 5 when I was watching it. This made me to realize that tomorrow is my birthday. Would I ever believe if somebody 15 or even 5 years ago told me that my 19th birthday I'll be celebrating in the city that never sleeps, the city where your dreams become true, the city that gives or breaks hopes?

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger

             - Alright guys, how long on that avocado sandwich? - I asked the kitchen crew after looking at my watch that showed 9 minutes of customers' waiting time
             - Mommy, who are you to ask or demand anything outta here? We're doing what we can, -The kitchen manager laughed at me, getting a pita from the package.

             I've been working in the place for 4 days now. And I didn't see anything but horrible attitude both from crew and customer sides.
             The place presented itself as a superhealthy place. What was it in real? Not-ever-washed rags, greasy plates you could barely hold in your hands, decaf coffee instead of real coffee (whenever there were decaf leftovers, they were poured into regular coffee. The only comment I got on this was "they won't understand or die so who cares"). Whenever I put attempts into changing the situation all I got were laughs and smirks from colleagues.
             The worst part about it started whenever I was still considered a trainee but somehow replaced the real servers. As all crew was too busy sitting in front of all managers putting new pictures on Instagram and updating their statuses on Twitter, I literally got the pressure of the entire place all on me. People got very annoyed and kept shouting things like that: 'why I've been sitting here and waiting for somebody to come up here for 5 minutes?'

Ok, it's not the place I've worked at. But it was close to that!

             So I talked to people, trying to calm them down and encouraged my co-workers to start doing what  all of us were supposed to do.

             - Missy, I've been here for 28 years now. I've seen three generations of management in this place. Are you really trying to tell me when to get to the table?
             - But they've been there for 8 minutes already! - almost crying, I insisted. I couldn't
understand how very simple things that are supposed to be part of common sense were so had to be understood here.
             - I'm BUSY now! - she almost shouted at me sitting at empty table and eating some frozen yogurt with strawberries.
             I couldn't let this go, so I just started serving the table. Two young girls were very friendly with me. They had a few modifications and requests I've given to the kitchen, but everything was served in time perfectly.
             'Thank you so much! Everything was just amazing!' - they said leaving the table.
             Just in a few minutes, the manager called me to the front. The young ladies give me compliments in front of the manager.
             - Excuse me, ma'am but she wasn't your waitress. She's just a trainee, - the manager said.
             - We know, and she did a great job, - the young lady smiled and gave me 15$ tip right in my hands.  I smiled and thanked her.

             As soon as the girls left, the manager came up to me and publicly took the money out of my hands passing it to the other waitress.
             - But she was sitting there the entire time on her phone, - I couldn't believe how unfair the whole situation turned out especially considering the fact that the manager saw everything happening.
            The waitress started coming to every other employer and telling them how much of ungrateful trainee I am. And I was just looking at all of this and started asking myself - what am I doing in this place? At that moment I realized that I probably value more that this. Even though I don't have place to go now, I know I deserve better. I just knew that this was definitely the bottom, so I took my cap and apron off, got my handbag and went to the exi
t of the cafe.
            The manager obviously asked for some kind of explanation. Well... as we all do something for the first time in our lives, I totally told everything I though about management and working conditions right in his face. I have always been a very calm person my entire life, so I didn't expect it from myself even. The only thing the manger told me was "We know. We suck."
             Walking away I saw that waitress that got the tip who, smiling at me, said: "It's New York, sweetie, and not Oklahoma or even Russia. You definitely won't survive here with such an attitude."
             I left the cafe and started walking towards subway station.
             And then it started raining. At first I got very sad, but then I thought: 'Doesn't this how it happens in the movies?'
             Running down the street I saw Starbucks. Confession time. Sometimes I went to Starbucks to use their wi-fi. But I promise I bought their staff sometimes. I did!
            So I was sitting right next to the window and watching the view I've dreamed about for the past couple of months. Yellow taxis kept crossing the street, businessmen throwing away the packs from their sandwich-lunches, a few fashionistas walking with their little chihuahuas... And here's me - miserable, sad, poor, alone. Was moving to New York City really a right thing for me to do? Maybe my friends were right, and should have stayed there.
            Being pretty tough in my nature, I was ready to cry. But then I saw a family with two little kids.
            The younger boy made the face to the other one and did some kind of a funny dance behind his father's back. The other boy saw that and started laughing and then he saw me in the window. He realized that I've seen the whole seen and told his older brother. The other boy looked at me, but, seeing my unconscious smile, he just started cracking up.
             These two little boys were so happy and amused with this little and, from the first sight, unimportant situation! They were laughing and kept smiling at me. It was still raining, but they just kept catching the drops from the sky and dance in the rain. They were so happy! And I couldn't help smiling while looking at them.
            It made me ask myself: why do I let all of this unimportant things make unhappy? Life goes on! I'm in the city of my dreams! I'm where I'm supposed to be.
            With a wide smile on my face I left Starbucks and went home.
             

Do the Harlem shake

            I knew approximately where I’m supposed to go. Well, I knew it by looking at maps. So I was totally relying on Google Maps. And here I am in La Guardia airport with violin, backpack and two heavy suitcases that were barely accepted with the limit of acceptable weight.

            I got to the bus station which was pretty full of people. At that moment I relied that communication skills aren't that bad in NYC. People offered me help and put my luggage inside the bus.

            On the way from the airport I was looking at the skyscrapers, bridges, the river, few private cars and the yellow ocean of taxis surrounding our bus. People around me had very serious faces on, while I was smiling as a little child. Everything looked like some part of  a movie to me.

            Asking which stop it was and if I had not missed mine, I finally got to final stop and changed to subway.

-                                - Good afternoon, ma'am. How can I get to subway? Do I need some kind of card? – I asked the lady in the assistance box. 
                                   - 2.50, - she replied to me. Her face showed pretty well that she was amazed with my smartness.

Some people helped me to drop my luggage over the entrance machines. Now I had to get to 145^th. I had no clue which train or which way I’m supposed to go. Asking people, they asked me only one question: “Uptown or downtown?” I didn’t know as I was acknowledged with the name of my final station only.

Somehow, asking people on the streets and working some inner maps in my head, I figured out where the house is. How happy I was! I’m almost home.

In a few minutes I realized that my apartment was on 6^th floor with no elevator.

I experienced a great workout carrying my luggage. After about 15 minutes, sweaty and tired, I rang the bell on my new apartment's door. I didn't realize how fast everything happened and I gave away nearly all the money I saved back in Oklahoma on my move-in deposit. All I had left was money to get my transportation - bike and living expenses for the first week. 

I decided to make my first walk in my first neighborhood in NYC. 

- 'Sup, pretty!'

- 'Watcha doin' here, Snow White?'

I wasn't scared at all, as, first of all, I was mentally prepared for this, and, more than that, I consider myself pretty tough after living in Russia for 17 years. However, I still decided to keep my family back home away from knowing the whole picture of my current location in NYC.

Upper West Side sounds slight better than Upper Harlem, right? (Just saying, but apparently all the songs I sing tend to change my reality. Yep, you're thinking exactly what I've been thinking - 'DO THE HARLEM SHAKE')

My new roommates suggested me to just ignore everything by straight and confident walking. They looked very mature and experience in NY life to me, so I kept asking them about life here a lot.

18-year-old, all by myself, with 70$ in my pockets till I find job, I didn't know how I'm going to survive here, but somehow I knew I was going to be alright.